Why am I so angry…

Posted: August 4, 2012 in Life and Stuff, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Right now if looks could kill everybody in a 3 block radius is dead. I’m so boiling angry about nothing at all and I’m probably not gonna cool off until later anyway. Yes I said what I’m mad about is nothing honestly because all she (my mum) did was ask me to help out around the house. She wanted a big family meeting an proceeded to tell us get it right or get out. I’m 24 and I’m more than halfway out the door. I want to leave as bad as she wants me to, but don’t talk to me like I’m 14. We’ve been there and done that. Yet I know I shouldn’t be mad. I know I’m an adult who could do more around the house and set a better example for the actual 14 year old smh. But I’m so angry and have begun my hard headed campaign throughout the house. I ain’t never been good about doing things in moderation and this little war is no different. Personally I wish I wasn’t angry. I wish I didn’t have this attitude about nothing. I wish I wasn’t so fed up with everyone and everything around me. I want to move past this and just do what I’m supposed to do. Too much energy goes into putting up the fight and usually end up doing whatever I was asked to do anyway.

I know this mat seem petty but I need to reflect on this moment so I can fix this. I don’t like being mad all the time. I hate beefing with my mom and brothers. I hate feeling guilty later about being disrespectful, and I’m trying to fix it. How do you fix something that you never really thought was broke? Who am I these days, months, and past year? When t=did this angry black woman move in? I’ve spent my whole life trying not to be that girl who just bitched at the world and felt the world had to take it. Being around that girl always made me uneasy. Now I’m becoming that and I have deal with being uneasy about myself.

I should fix this…I will reflect on this when I’m out of these feelings. When commonsense kicks back in. But I have to say while writing this I am feeling better and tad bit more understanding. I really just need to deal with this big picture, but I have get through some of these details first. I don’t want to be so angry anymore.

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Comments
  1. Jay says:

    Whenever I’m angry or sad, I imagine the immense galaxy with a minidot called earth where billions of people have their own opinion. Opinions are like a anus. Everybody has one. 😉

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